Let's talk about Enmeshment

Enmeshment lacks traditional family boundaries, where the adult children (or other relatives) are "caught in the web" of the parents' relationship

Average families have rules and boundaries. Enmeshment lacks traditional family boundaries, where the adult children (or other relatives) are “caught in the web” of the parents’ relationship. The enmeshed person gets identity from parents. 

Enmeshment is when parents deny that they are separate people from their children. They need their children for their emotional well-being. Enmeshed parents don’t view themselves as adults; they see themselves as extensions of their parent(s). They often used the same methods of discipline/reward as their parents did on them. 

The result of feeling trapped in the relationship is depression or anxiety for the enmeshed person and anger from being controlled by someone else.

What is Enmeshment Trauma?

According to Phycologytoday.com, the enmeshment trauma definition is  “A nonsexual example of enmeshment is a son or daughter who feels so close to her mother that she views herself as an extension of her mother. She can’t imagine doing anything without Mom’s consent and often asks for permission before making decisions.” 

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What does The Enmesher do?

They can’t imagine doing anything without your consent. They view themselves as a part of you, so they try to control your every move and thought. 

What does Enmeshing Trauma look like?

An intense desire for closeness with one person (could be anyone, even a stranger). For example, they want to stay by their side all day and night and can’t imagine sleeping without that person’s comfort.